I'm not very good at relationships. I'm learning... I heard someone once say that they needed their 'closet' time. I think that's a pretty good analogy. I feel best when no one wants or needs anything from me. Then I get to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, the way I want to do it. That doesn't usually work real well in relationships... unless of course you're footing the bill.
Take smoking - I smoke. There is a love/hate relationship between me and smoking. I'm addicted, so the act of smoking brings relief as well as self-loathing and fear of physical consequences.
Just like people... I really love people - having them around brings me pleasure, for a short period of time. It helps me get out of my head and actually interact with others. But after they're gone I sit and think of all the things I probably should or shouldn't have said.
So I guess really - it all boils down to 'it's all about me'. Self-centeredness in all it's glory.
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